FoodRant #2: Gochi Japanese Fusion Tapas

American Girl lives in a country where Panda Express reigns and authentic, quality Asian food is hard to come by.  Penang Boy came from a country where he claims has the best Asian food in the world.  So when Penang Boy ate the food at this restaurant and said he wanted to cry with joy, you can imagine that American Girl was nearly dead.

Steamed monkfish liver with seaweed in a sour, lemon sauce.

American Girl: (Takes a bite). Oh my god! Sooooo good, the liver tastes like fishy paste! And the sourness goes with it perfectly!
Penang Boy: What if someone chops you open and eats your liver?
American Girl: Hey!

Crab Croquette
Fried food roll containing cream and crab.

American Girl: So creamy on the inside…
Penang Boy: You forgot to take a picture.
American Girl: Oops, oh well, there’s one more left.

Buta Meshi
Rice and pork cooked in a clay pot.

American Girl: I feel cheated. Why is it that I was denied of this my entire life?
Penang Boy: Mmmm…can you taste the pork fat melting in your mouth?
American Girl: I LOVE how the rice sticks to the pot and gets crunchy!

Au Gratin Potatoes
Baked potato with curry covered with cheese.

American Girl: These potatoes taste so light! Better than how Americans cook them.

Lychee Shochu

American Girl: (Takes a long swig from the straw). This is my new favorite drink. Is it alcoholic?
Penang Boy: Yes.
American Girl: Why didn’t you tell me? Ice is coming out of my nostrils!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!! Oh my god!


Heaven is…

by Penang Boy

Heaven is….

a slice of good Parma Prosciutto.

And some Indian food after!

ToyStoreRant: Mommy I’m Scared

by American Girl

And you wonder why toy sales are declining.  If I had kids, I’d make sure to keep them far away from here.

There’s the feeling that someone is watching you.

The piles of dead bodies.

And your loved ones turning into people you no longer recognize.

MissionaryRant: What Are You Doing on Campus?!

by American Girl

I love God and all but here’s a note to all church groups: Recruiting perverted looking men to lurk around school campus corners while handing out suspicious looking pamphlets to college girls is not a good marketing technique.   Especially when the pamphlets look like this:

I don’t really like my friends.

Interviewer: What do you appreciate most about your friends?

Cartman: I don’t really appreciate my friends. If you knew my friends you would know why. My friends are all kinda airholes. Ah. Umm. But. No. My friends all suck air. I don’t like them.

RentRant: Support Local Theater!…But Not When It Sucks!

Mimi's flower? NAH!!!!

Am I a Mimi?

by American Girl (with comments by Penang Boy!)

Penang Boy and I consider ourselves certified Rentheads. We certainly sing Rent songs on a regular enough basis to annoy our siblings.  And when Penang Boy first told me about how he sat in orchestra seats in a touring Broadway cast of Rent in Singapore, I was so in awe I just wanted to stare at him, and hopefully absorb some of the lingering Rent Rays that might have stayed on his skin. Penang Boy: I know. My skin is radiant and glowing!

Yeah, we consider Rent to be a sacred piece of theatrical work. Therefore, incredibly cheap tickets (Penang Boy: wasn’t incredibly cheap. Just cheap for RENT.) and the chance to see community theater revive our beloved musical sealed the deal for our trip to City Lights Theater. And lo and behold…

A Couple of Character Rundowns:

Roger: The original Roger on Broadway, Adam Pascal, was a wonderful specimen; his gritty voice portrayed a tough yet heartbroken man. It could make some girls crazy, but I will say no more for fear of incurring the wrath of Penang Boy. This actor, however, took the meaning of Roger’s tragic life to soap operatic proportions. When his Phantom-of-the-Opera-esque vibrato reached its final roaring climax, we were clasping each other gasping for breadth as we struggled to not die from laughter.
Penang boy:
“Some” girls! Don’t lie! You are in love with Adam Pascal! You want to marry him! Well, anyway, don’t cast an opera wannabe for a rock singing role. (Unless there are no rock singers in San Jose)

Mimi: Someone must have been on drugs when they cast her. Penang boy: Squeaky voice and have a probably could not hear the feedback. Screamed at a nasally voice at loud parts. Gross!)

Angel: An Angel indeed.  It’s tough to play a drag queen without seeming like a pure attention seeker, but this actor portrayed Angel and his big well of love to the most genuine degree.  Plus he can dance his pants off in heels. Penang Boy: You like him!

Maureen: Although I will always be by far the best Maureen, kudos to this chick for pulling off a great performance. She had the voice and the attitude, not to mention she was really hot. Penang Boy: You played Maureen before. I think you will be a better Maureen.

So there was the extremely inspirational alongside the extremely grotesque when it came to actors.  Most of the ensemble had decent vocals and the musicians definitely knew what they were doing. However, the most glaringly disappointing aspect of this production was the menial attention paid to the acting.  Such an inspiring musical which covers tough subjects such as heartbreak, poverty, and AIDS requires strong chemistry within the cast to convey its message, but the way the actors delivered their lines as if they memorized them just so they can move on to the next musical number convinced me that City Lights bit off way more than they can chew.

Penang Boy: I was kinda forced into watching this local theater production. From where I was from, local theater is opera in a makeshift stage where actors in painted faces singing at a high pitch voice and use wooden sticks going round and round. So I always had the pleasure of watching awesome professional productions from traveling companies from Australia. This was enriching. It is not a bad experience but certainly, I feel freaking great about myself. I feel that American girl and I should conquer the world with our talents! I still feel everyone should start somewhere. City Lights people, if you are reading this, be heavily critical about yourself. You guys generally sucked! Except Angel, Maureen, Benny and The Musicians.

On the positive side, we learned two things:

1. We are extremely talented people. Penang Boy: Freaking Talented!

2. 40 dollar tickets for professional theater productions are probably worth it. Penang Boy: Erm…

Penang Boy:I was


Penang boy said yellow! Just know that I don’t like my stuff…… extra vinegary.

Comedy Central